Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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