Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
