I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
