let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
