Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
