so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
