Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
