i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i out mim tonsoeep
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