I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
A+ Viking dick
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
