dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
