It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
