My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
