I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
