Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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