Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
