I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize