i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
