im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
