i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
