i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
