I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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