i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
