I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
