I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
