Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
