like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize