drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I could make wine with my vomit
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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