You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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