also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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