Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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