There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
