He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
