Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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