Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
