i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
