and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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