If that was your dad, he is hot
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Quick, to the slutcave!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
