Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
