This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
