i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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