They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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