Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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