Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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