I wish my penis had an off switch
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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