so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
