Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
