Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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