butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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