I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize