i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
