Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
