I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
