Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
