that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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