The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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