Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
