FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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