Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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