You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
