this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Mom said you looked used
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
