I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Actions speak louder than pants.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
