I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
