i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
