I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have demons in me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize