i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
